bible night

so since i returned home this past weekend for the first time since january, me and my family decided to do what any normal family would....we made shirts and drank beer. but this was no ordinary night. no my friends, this was BIBLE NIGHT

you see, a couple months ago, both my sisters went back home and they decided to have a theme to go along with the drinking. so they chose russian night. now me not being able to attend this made me mad and possibly a little jealous. maybe not as much jealous as heartbroken. so since i was triumphantly returning home, we needed a new theme. and the first though tthat came to my mind was actually jeopardy! night. my family loves jeopardy, but i swear we dont keep score or anything like that. and we dont award 2 points for getting the daily double right and we sure as hell dont have to write out final jeopardy or anything because that would just be really wierd. and also very phycotic of us. but then i realized that my family has 5 people and jeopardy! only has 4. (the judges dont count, you cant see them) so bible night was born. it was decided that i would be Ezekiel, my sisters would be Cain and Abel, my mom would be Goliath, my dad would be Judas for betraying us, and the dog would be Donkey (the one Jesus rode in on Palm Sunday, duh. what other donkey is there??) so we made shirts and everything. this of ocurse would be mine. this is the back and i thought the number was a nice touch.






this would be my mom/Goliath. little did we know that in about 1 hour and 2 beers later, she would go inside and draw a Jesus beard on with her mascara?? pencil. gotta love moms.










older sister katie. she wanted to be Cain so she could kill our other sister. sounds like a good enough reason for me.










this would be my dad, or Judas. we gave him that name becasue he "betrayed" us by having to get up the next day and go to work. we were mad that we couldn't drink with our daddy. this is a feeling that most children go through during bible night, or so i've heard










other sister keri. aka the one to be murdered. as you can see by the blood stains, the act already happened. but don't worry, the only thing that was murdered on this night were those 2 cases of miller light. oh, and that midget that we found peeking in on us. he met his untimely death at the hands of goliath. who knew she was capable of such things.

on the front of all the shirts, we also had a slogan, but unfortunately i didn't snap a photo of this but have no fear, i remember it. it goes as follows:
10 Commandments
7 Sacraments
2 Cases
___________
1 Good Time

if you think about it, you all know its a pretty fuckin badass slogan. hold your applause though, i can't take all the credit, just most of it.

as promised, here is the pic of my mom and sister/ hoboes we found. i'll let you all determine which is which. as you can tell, we like to go all out on Bible Nights. so there you have it, Bible night in a nutshell. if anyone else has any ideas for a new theme party, i'm all ears. or eyes, whatever.